I have really nothing to say. Maybe this is just another product of my boredom. I wanted to have a better job, and here I am, earning more than what I did before. I even control my own time, and I have the luxury of sleeping during the night and spending weekends in a relaxing bliss. Everything is easy. Maybe too easy, because now, it's becoming boring. What do I really want? I want a job wherein I can directly help out other people. Wherein I can influence someone to be better. I've had that kind of job before. The pay was not as lavish, and the schedule was harsh. But those were not the reasons that I left that job. They are the ones who gave me the reason to leave, because they took that job away. So, I resigned, and tried to look for something similar. I thought I found it here. Sadly, I didn't. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with this set-up. There are so many people who are unemployed right now, and I am very grateful to have this job to support myself and my family. But, where is my sense of fulfillment? I know, I should work for money first. I am not rich, and I really need the money, but I have to admit that I am very bored right now. I don't know if there is meaning to what I am doing. I want to be able to talk to people, to reach out, to teach and to help. Is that so difficult?

I have already decided that by next year, I would be changing my life. I will start with my career, since it's the thing that I always put last. I will make sure that I love what I'm doing, and the same time, I would be able to earn enough to have a decent living. I know it might be hard, especially that this may lessen the time that I spend with my sweetheart, but those are some sacrifices that I have to take. As he said, this is also something for us. I earn more so that we can save and get married. At the same time, I will be able to have the sense of fulfillment that I need to be a better person. I hope I can do this things.

I am sorry for writing this random nonsense in my journal. It's ok if you don't read it. I just feel that I need to release all of these negative emotions that I am feeling towards my job and the things that I do, since it can affect my life, and the way I treat others. I am saying this because this morning, I threw a fit at my boyfriend, which made him very sad. I don't want him to be sad, and I really felt guilty about it. I will try to make it up to him once I get home. But for now, I just need to make sure that before the day ends, I will feel better about myself and about my career path. I don't know if anyone here can relate with me. Maybe I am getting older. Oh, the woes of the aged. Haha!

Well, that's all about it. I am feeling a bit better right now. Thank you for reading, if you did read it. If not, well, that's also fine.